There are days when I just feel so lost. All I really want to do is sit down in a corner somewhere and cry. I hate emotions. Always have. Which is why I always worked so hard to feel nothing most of my life. Life sucks.
I feel like I’m reaching another breaking point. I need a serious de-stresser. On a lighter note, last night I had this absolutely amazing customer and two of his rowdy kids. First thing he asked me was “You chewin’?” I said I was.
First person to really notice outside those who know me. Most people pass my spitting into a non-see through cup as drinking coffee. I found some humor in it. He only noticed cause apparently he used to also. Funny how observant some people are compared to some others.
I’m just glad he didn’t find it offensive. Especially in this area there are so many people who are so right wing it nauseates me because they’ll get on you for the smallest thing. It’s a pretty rich and well to do area for the most part. I don’t want to lose customers because oh my God I chew instead of smoke. Can’t smoke in the cab anyway because it’s technically a place of business, and in Illinois it’s illegal to smoke in any place of business.
Off the Chest
Mar 22nd, 2012 by Diana W
Ok I just want to get a few things off my chest. First, why should I be there for someone who isn’t there for me? If I’m asked to stand beside someone, great but I kind of expect them to stand beside me too. Is that too much to ask? Just curious.
I guess I’m getting tired of standing by people constantly who are obviously only looking out for number one. I have a couple good friends who stand by me, don’t get me wrong. I appreciate it too because I know I have a support system and at least a couple people I can talk to about just about anything and everything and that’s nice to have. Real life people mind you, I’m not talking about online friends. Damian I consider a real life friend despite meeting him online.
He’s honestly one of my best friends and has always been there when I’ve really needed someone and likewise. One of my other friends in this support system of mine I know I can’t always talk to because I kind of know his intentions. Not that they’re bad, but it’d just make things a little awkward is all. But I know if I needed him that he’d be there. Thus far, he’s never let me fall… ever.
I feel like everything around me is falling apart, slowly but surely. Maybe it’s just me, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just super stressed, but it’s kind of hard to find the light at the end of the tunnel right now.
“Almost” Raped
Mar 21st, 2012 by Diana W
You know what gets me? All these girls running around these days crying over how they were “almost” raped. SO WAS I, BITCH! BY TWO DIFFERENT MEN! You don’t see me running around all butthurt, piss-whining over how omgomgomgomg I was ALMOST RAPED and now have ten million mental issues, ptsd, cutting because I’m so god damned depressed.
Suck it the fuck up, cunts. You weren’t raped. Get the fuck over it and stop using it as a motherfucking crutch. It gets old. Come back and piss-whine when you’ve actually been raped and THEN you may gain a little sympathy.
Sure I know I need to protect myself from the one of two that is still alive. I know that… I’m not stupid. But I’m not going to run around like a little pussy whining about how oh my fucking god I was ALMOST RAPED TWICE! GIVE ME SYMPATHY!!!
Why’s everyone convinced I’m fucking my boss? Just cause we throw comments and shit at each other doesn’t mean we’re sleeping with each other. @.@